Wednesday, 15 February 2017

Five Essential Skills Of A Toddler Parent

I took the kids swimming today.  Any parent who takes their kids swimming deserves a medal in my eyes.  It is fucking hardcore.  From getting them changed, to ensuring they don’t drown, from trying to get them to follow the rules (“Yes, I know you think it’s funny to splash mummy, but the rules say you mustn’t.”) to dragging them out of the lockers at the end (is it just mine that climb into the lockers? Please tell me it’s not), it is exhausting.  When I got back home, it made me think about all the skills you need to be a toddler parent.  Obviously you need to be loving and patient* and kind.  But that’s kind of a given.  Here are the five skills I think parents of toddlers should be armed with.

1.  Resilience.  The kids told me they wanted to swim.  I didn’t want to swim.  I hate swimming, especially with them, when I don’t actually get to swim, I just lie in 1 and ½ foot of water, freezing my tits off, worrying about my bikini line.  They wanted to do it. When it came to leaving the house though, you would have thought that they’d both been recently lobotomised.  Zach sat with some tiny screws he’d found, refusing to put his pants on (what the actual fuck am I going to do when they have to go to school and wear underwear and trousers all day long?) and Daisy sat in her dolly’s car-seat, covering herself in blankets.  Resilience (& counting to five, seven million times) is what got us out of the house.

2.  Fast reactions.  I’m a worrier.  I worry about everything.   Do you know when I worry the most? In the great big pool of water where they might drown and die.  Particularly because they are wildly – WILDLY – over confident.  If I met water for the first time, I might be slightly hesitant.  I might think ‘What is this strange stuff?’  D&Z, not so much.  They just throw themselves into the pool, with no fear.  Despite the fact they can’t swim.  They also like jumping, but they don’t understand the need to jump FORWARD.  FORWARD from the side.  They prefer to jump slightly hesitantly and slightly backwards.  The reason they’re still alive and well? Fast reactions.

3. A loud voice.  I once read that you have to make eye contact with a toddler to get them to really hear what you’re saying.  Bull.  Shit.  If I don’t look at either of my children, and I say ‘Haribo’, they’ll respond.  For sure.  What you need, more than eye contact is a loud voice.  A loud voice that says ‘ZACHARY! DO NOT UNLOCK THE CHANGING ROOM DOOR.  MUMMY WILL BE VERY CROSS IF YOU DO BECAUSE MUMMY IS NAKED.  MOVE AWAY FROM THE DOOR.’ 

4.  Negotiation skills.  We haven’t been going swimming for long but every time we’ve been, Zachary has managed to find a cubicle and lock himself in it.  If you’re going to parent a toddler, then you need to be able to bring out your special hostage negotiator toddler voice, for these exact occasions: “Zachary baby, can you just turn the lock, that’s right, just turn it back, the opposite way to the way you did it the first time.  What a really good boy.  Well done.” NEVER DO THAT AGAIN.  (Don’t shout until he’s out.)

5. A thick skin.  Going swimming necessitates getting naked.  In front of two year olds.  Sheesh.  Don’t do it, until you’re ready to hear: “Mummy, your bottom is DISGUSTING.”


*I am not patient.  I am so not patient.  I tell them I’m counting to five, get to three and lose it.  Sometimes.  Sometimes, I make it to five.  

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